For this very reason, there is a host of gay black men who are comfortable being silent. I tell people all the time, I know many more masculine gay men than feminine gay men. The difference is that feminine gay men, whether by choice or not, live their lives out loud. They are seen because they have not subscribed to the traditional definition of black masculinity. I believe that many gay men, who hold up the tradition, understand the privilege that it carries both within and outside the gay community. Let's face it, his peers probably don't suspect a thing and he gets more messages with a booty attached on Jack's than he can handle, even if he would prefer a dick pic. Once he acknowledges his gayness publicly, he breaks out of his box. As liberating as that may sound, that declaration has been his most notable antagonist for his entire life. It does not easy believe that you can be more than the big dick, deep-voiced, intimidating black man that you were always told you should be. We need to break down some walls that have been built in the names of masculinity and femininity in our community. There's so much more for us to explore internally and externally. Can you imagine all of the connections you would have made along the way had you not judged