I was minding my own business at a book convention when what I thought was a crazed fan, like I have any of those, came up to me. I should have known better than to play along. Especially when the voices in my head were screaming for me to run. Before I could do so I was taken away by my crazed fan, who really wasn't a fan, and whisked off to Earth's brain. Yes, Earth has a brain and a body. There I not only learned that some version of my soul was destined to save Earth's brain, but that reincarnation was real. Dino Me, Slug Me, Half Breed Me, and many more proved that. Madison, my not so crazed fan, had a collection of mes. If that sounds strange, you better buckle up. Throughout the course of this escapade I had to deal with cannibal pirates, porno ninjas, killer geriatric robots, a newborn baby that swears like a sailor, aliens, more robots, Hippers, Diggers, Unknown, and so much more. Add to that some evil dude wants to melt me down in some magic voodoo pot and you have what could be my final written work ever. Or is it? So tell your friends as I may not make it out alive. Or I may and I could still use the money. And in case you are wondering, yes, the tale depicted in this book is kinda, sorta, maybe a true story. Events are told how they occurred. Unless I died before the end of this and then you may have to make up the rest for yourself.