TALKIN' BILLIONAIRES INTO OR OUT OF SHIT IS WHAT I DO.

Some would say I'm slick with the lingo.

Other people will tell you other things.

I've been a wheeler and dealer my entire life. I've had some monster wins, and I've taken some big hits. You're going to read about the worst of it.

Of course, there's a woman involved.

Not your thing? Don't worry, there are a plethora of other players in the story too.

Let's see, there's a hooker and a general. One looks killer, and one is a killer.

There are Muslim drug lords, now in real estate. A Venezuelan hillbilly who was out playin' in the dirt and struck oil.

And you're going to meet an African prince with diamonds to spare.

Let me think...There's a fat redneck from the sticks of Florida and his buddy, an MS13 gang banger who wants to be a rapper. More millionaires, a couple of billionaires. And oh, I can't leave out the Count. A Frenchy, who fancies himself a mobster...in the Med.

Spoiler alert: He gets whacked.

The "good guys" do eventually show up. Most of 'em in those stupid blue windbreakers, three dumbass letters across the back in case the crewcuts and aviators didn't make it clear enough.

Wait 'til I tell you about the kidnappers and the Russian Shylock I call "Yak-off."

These stories are going to spin you on your head, but that's it for the teaser.

I'll see you on the inside.

-Bank Robbin' Dave