WARNING: This is a LitRPG story and contains explicit intimate relations, explicit violence, explicit expletives, cussing and swearing, explicit hacking and slashing, betrayals, pant wetting, improper use of motorcycles, general speeding, polyamory, theft, arson, egg-laying, open relationships, power leveling, twinking, PVP, ogling of demi-humans, ogling of humanoids, ogling of monsters, PVE, spawn camping, trespassing, dwarf tossing, cell phone hacking, account hacking, attempted rape, adult situations, violations of civilian rights, a dire wolf with an attitude, infidelity, bawdy relations with Orcs, Goblins, Trolls, Beastkin, Gnomes, Dwarves, Elves and monsters, MMORPG-style violence, allusions to nonconsensual relations, consensual relations, wolves and bears as pets, nudity and nakedness, no bras, naked raids, murder, attempted murder, atheism, rationalizations, man-handling, decapitations, pirate on pirate violence, gossiping, defenestration, sexual harassment, religious rationalizations, unusual morals, NPC relations, player relations, possible centaur riding, stalking, looting, womanizing, mansplaining, bribery, LAN parties, fantasy depictions of mages and warriors, highly risqué fantasy gaming tropes, personal rants, assault and battery, stabbings, cannibalism, general mayhem, specific mayhem, immolations, explosions, siege weapons of mass destruction, existential discussions, controversial topics of sci-fi fandom, real-world intimate relationships, in-game intimate relationships, playing the field, disrespect for authority, womansplaining, realm invasions, mind control fears, bad tempered marines, conspiracy theories, cohabitation, men playing women, digital prostitution, exsanguinations, women playing men, references to science fiction literature and television, references to gaming, playing MMOs for too many hours straight, government surveillance, jelly donuts, inappropriate gaming names, player abuse, interrogations and torture, chest ogling, grocery store misconduct, talking on a cell in public, relational misconduct, magic misconduct, fangs, general misconduct, voyeurism, making out sessions, heavy petting, insanity, random violence, promiscuity, werewolves and vampires that like to kill, evil gnolls and goblins, good orcs and bad orcs, too much drinking, dismemberment, abuse of authority, abuse of popularity, electrocutions, freeze blasts, arcane explosions, destruction of property, public indecency, annoying escort quests, rezzing and resurrections, castle sieging, city ransacking, slavery, raping and pillaging, role-playing, abuse, crazy ex-girlfriend flashbacks, nutshots and eye poking, the stabbing of private organs, pick-up groups, fast-moving zombies, hunting for food and xp, excessive violence, bareback riding, troll hating, camping, griefing, obstruction of justice, justified vengeance, biting, backstabbing, clawing, trash-talking, open-minded discussions, bitching, close-minded hate, personal opinions, and anything else offensive I may have forgotten to mention. Read at your own risk. *** newly edited as of February 27th, 2019 ***